Gays and Marriage part I of ...

I am part of an online Christian forum that regularly discusses Christian beliefs and issues. The latest discussion to come up is on the subject of same sex marriage, which (as always) opened up a whole can of worms. One of the commenters posted this document from the Catholic Church on their stance in regards to same sex marriage, which in summary says: if you're a man, marry a woman and if you're a woman, marry a man and procreate...or you are living a sinful life.

After reading that document, I am only more convinced that the Catholic Church's stance against same sex marriage is ungrounded. I am unmoved by a document that cites every sentence outlining the benefits of heterosexual marriage but does not make one single citation when hypothesizing that the good effects of marriage "probably" don't apply to same sex marriages.

The way I see it, sexuality is very modern construct of our society. When the bible was written (the old testament anyway) people were not asked to identify themselves based on sexual preferences. It didn't matter if a man preferred men or women, he married a women and had children, and if he preferred men, perhaps he had a "mister" on the side (it's been a while since I've studied ancient cultures, but if I recall correctly, women were not exactly afforded the same leeway men were, that's not to say it never happened...)

We live in a (somewhat) more open minded society now where men and women choose who they will marry (instead of having a marriage arranged) and are also afforded the luxury of openly being in a relationship with a person of the gender of their choosing. Regardless of whether I prefer men or women, I choose to present myself as heterosexual publicly by the behaviours I exhibit (or don't exhibit), and similarly a man or woman also chooses the behaviours he or she engages in (in public) and accordingly the orientation they wish to be associated with in society.

I'm not saying I know what it's like to be gay...I don't. And I'm not saying gay people choose to be gay so they can be bullied, ridiculed and sometimes even risk their lives to be honest with how they feel. I'm saying it's a choice to act on the feelings you have, one which we are "afforded" in Western culture. Many of the objections to same sex marriage in that document could be applied to interracial marriages I'm sure, and as I mentioned, some of the arguments are just opinions that are not based on any sort of study or fact. We shouldn't be opposed to same sex marriage because it "threatens" the nuclear family. There is no such thing as the perfect family, we all have our own shit to deal with, such as addictions, abuse, illnesses, over protective/bearing parents, rebellious siblings...the list goes on. God calls us to be his servants and in doing so we are expected to do our best to not sin. That means struggling with sexuality (homosexual and heterosexual if we are unmarried), gluttony (eating food we do not need), greed (making money, saving money, having material possessions) and a whole plethora of crosses to bare. Maybe the Church needs a shame culture for fat people, I dunno. Maybe I'd be a size 0 instead of a size 12? (probably not)

And before moving on I want to make it clear, I'm only thinking about this in the context of members of the Christian community who have identified as or are struggling with homosexuality. If you're a non-Christian gay...who cares? Go forth, settle down, get married, have kids (or don't have kids), eat until your heart stops, be merry!

To be honest, I think our culture over-thinks marriage. We have such an intricate 'mating ritual'. First you have to find someone of your gender of preference who you "click" with. Then you have to spend time with them to figure out if they have feelings for you. Then the both of you have to go through an undefined period of time of frequently spending time together doing various activities such as watching movies, eating dinner and taking long walks on the beach. If after enough time as passed you've decided there are a few things about this person you can't stand, you realize you are not committed to them for life (or they realize this about you) so one of you dumps the other and the process starts again with a new person. OR after all this time has passed (or maybe just not enough has...) and neither of you have found a flaw in the other person you decide the next step is to get married...

My parents were introduced to each other, had an engagement party, got married 6 weeks after meeting, and they are still together 25 years later. That was one run on paragraph, compared to one short concise sentence. Just saying.

Pudgy Cheeks

Yesterday, I was preparing myself for the 20 minute streetcar ride to work. Uniform-check, iPod-check, book to finish on the journey-check. But a funny thing happened, a bus showed up.

For anyone who experiences motion sickness, reading on a city bus that is constantly switching lanes, and stopping and going at least once a minute is a huge no-no.

Alas I was forced to observe the characters on the bus. There was the typical old lady, an awkward teenager, and a mother carrying her 10 month old baby on her back.

Having children has never been on my "must do" list for life. It's always been quite low on the list after visiting Hawaii, but before sky diving. If it happens, sure...if not...I guess I should price out sky diving.

However I always fail to account for a major factor: babies are too cute.

They have cute pudgy cheeks, they make gurgle noises when they're happy, and the way the look at the world is inspiring. And don't even get me started on fat plump babies (my little sister was definitely one of those).

But as I was admiring the 10 month old ogle at the world, I realized...babies grow up to be snots.

First they hit the tender age of two, which typically coincides with when they learn the word "no". Two is when most babies have mastered the skill of walking (although some of us took our time getting there...) and can quickly and quietly wander away from the safety net of their parents.

It's all downhill from here.

After that you get a (literally) snot filled kid, covered in dirt, making messes everywhere. Followed by the snotty teenage years where your kid does everything they can to rebel against you and finally...they leave you to have their own babies...or careers...or other choice of life. And if you're lucky they'll keep in contact with you, maybe take care of you when you're back in diapers.

So when I say I want a baby, I mean I want a baby...I don't want it to grow up to be student council president, prom queen or a doctor.

I just want a baby, who will stay a baby, forever.

Maybe I should have done what Mom did and became a toddler teacher.

Accountable to Myself

I used to write a journal entry nearly every day. I'm not quite sure what I wrote about, I'm sure most often than not it was mundane details about boys not worthy of my interest, and going back to read the entries would be painful now. Writing down my feelings and posting them in a nice private online journal started as a great way to relieve stress and "let everything out", since I internalize everything.

But for the past few years I've been abusing my journal.

I've stopped writing about stupid boys, and my (sometimes) unreasonable parents. I don't know if it's because the situations had stopped affecting me, or I just got tired of complaining about the same things over and over again. Maybe I'd worn myself out after writing a few too many essays (yes, Math Majors do get to write plenty of papers), or I lead a very undramatic and calm life that doesn't play out well on paper.

The point is, I stopped writing. Yes occasionally I'd write about my major life updates, like graduating, or moving out, but more importantly I stopped writing about the things in my life that I needed to write about, such as finding a job and re-affirming my faith.

So here we are.

Maybe I needed a fresh slate, a new place to organize my "mature" thoughts. The post-angsty-pre-professional Jasmine's new home is right here.

Soapboxing

It has come to my attention that I needed a place to vent about the world. I don't mean the little things like the kids on the bus who won't move to the back (seriously, why is it always so difficult?) or the tool at McDonalds who complains loudly about the slow service after getting in a line 20 people deep (because THAT's going to move the line faster buddy). No, I needed a place to vent about religion and politics mostly. Ok, yes and the occasional McDouche.

What sparked my sudden need for a soapbox? Well many things, but mainly Rob Ford being elected as the new mayor of Toronto and this article about burning down homes

It's not so much the fact that Rob Ford is mayor that irks me (actually that does irk me...) as much as it is the people who live to complain about it. Yes, I've found it quite clear that (sadly) Rob Ford has little regard for developing community services, effective transit (sorry bicyclists) or the arts, fortunately he is only one man, and fortunately he's been elected the mayor of Toronto, not the leader of the free world. Also fortunate for us, we had the opportunity to vote and elect representatives from our neighbourhoods to champion homeless shelters, Transit City and Caribana.

So until I see where the gravy train actually stops, I will have to postpone my judgments on Rob Ford's reign for another day.

Now about those assholes in Tennessee.

Full disclosure: I consider myself a Christian. Not just a "Sunday Christian" but a full fledged, realistic, functioning, everyday Christian. Sometimes we use inappropriate language when irked (like calling someone well deserving of it, asshole) and you should know we are all different. We all have different takes on what the Bible says, and we all have different interpretations on how we should live our lives.

Ok perhaps "asshole" is a strong word here, but I must completely disagree with the sentiment.

As a Christian, I've been raised to help those on the fringe. People in need, those who don't belong, and even the "heathens".

I'm not going to lie and say helping the people on the outskirts is easy, because it's not. It's difficult to look at someone who is so incredibly different from you, and offer assistance, even if it's just an ear to listen, or the seat next you.

Sure $75 dollars seems fair in the grand scheme of things to have the fire department give you a hand if your house is burning down. We pay for ambulance rides, it only makes sense, especially in a small rural area. What really irks me, is this quote in the article

[...] Christians who believe the house should have been saved have “fallen prey to a weakened, feminized version of Christianity."

What this quote says to me is "because you have compassion for another human being AND because you are Christian you are a lesser Christian", the best part of the quote is the use of "feminized" to diminish the value of the noun.

I'm not even going to further address the Feminist issues within the quote, as that's a whole other rant for a whole other day.

I am going to address the rest however. I believe (and I'm sure many others do too, although my father may disagree) that the sentiment of Christianity is not about being hardcore and all tough-love. The sentiment is love, forgiveness, compassion. If it wasn't 2am, I might have even thrown in some supporting Bible quotes for you, however I will leave you with Galations 5:22-23 which comes to mind

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.

This particular passage (taken from Paul's letter to the Galations) implies that as Christians we are to embody those 9 "fruits of the spirit" (which are not multiple choice btw), among which we do not find fairness nor tough-love.

I hope that was somewhat coherent for a 2am rambling...